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2008/10/01
language can criticize and praise
Thoughout your communication experiences, you are expected to criticize, to evalutate, ad otherwise to render judgement on some person or on sth someone did or created. Espercially in helping professions, such as teaching, nursing, or counseling, criticism is an important and frequently used skill. The problem arises when criticism is used outside of its helping function; when it's inappropriate or excession. An important interpersonal skill is to develop a facility for detecting when a person is asking for criticism and wen that person is simply asking for a compliment. For example, when a friend asks how you like his or her new apartment, the frend may be searching for a compliment rather than wanting you to itemize all the things wrong with the place. Similarly, the person who says, "Do I look ok?"may be asking for a compliment.
Sometimes the desire to be liked (or perhaps the need to be appreciated) is so strong that we go to the other extreme and paint everything with praise. The most ordinary jacket, the most common thoought, the most average meal are given extraordinary praise, way beond their merits. Both overly critical and the overly complimentary individuals soon find that their comments are no longer met with concern or interest.
As an alternative to excessive critism r praise, consider the principle of honest appraisal. Tell the truth--but note that there is an art to truth telling, just as there is an art to all other forms of effective communication. First, distinguish between instances in which an honest appraisal is sought and those in which the individual needs a compliment. Respind to the appropriate level of meaning. Second, if an honest appraisal is desired and if yours is a negative one, give some consideration to how you should phrase your criticism.
Consider the context of the criticism. Generally, it is best to expres criticism in situations where you can interact with the person ad express your attitudes in dialogue rather than monologue. By this principle, then, your first choice would be to express criticism face-to-face, your second choice would be by telephone, and a distant third choice by letter, memo, or e-mail. Also, try to express your criticism in private. This is especially importnat when ealing with members from cultures where publi criticism could result in a serious loss of face.
恋の心雨
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2008-10-01 11:23
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